The things we tell ourselves, the correlation to our beliefs and the actions we take as a result – I call it your truth versus reality. Often the things we tell ourselves are founded in the beliefs we’ve learned across our lifetime. These are often experienced in a relay, back and fore. Self talk and beliefs, beliefs and self talk -They reinforce one another and so we live them as our truths. The problem is that reality can be so very different yet we can’t see past our truths.
Some of the things I have heard clients talk about are:
I can’t afford to invest in myself (lived truth) yet I go on holidays, days out, spend lots of money on birthday, takeaways, (reality is they find money to spend on activities that offer short term fun, feel good factor)
I’m not strong enough to change my life (lived truth) but haven’t tried anything for long enough to impact their life (reality the predictability and familiarity of the situation stops them from changing)
I’m not clever enough (lived truth) but they have worked their way up in their job and has been headhunted (reality is they believe the words and have discarded any evidence to the contrary)
The contrast between the lived truth and reality is often vast. But once you learn about the difference, it changes your whole perception and self perception. Maybe it’s time to appreciate your self, your skills and achievements and step into reality – Challenge those lies you tell yourself.
What makes me think I am… (e.g. a failure, Inadequate, unworthy etc)?
Where is the evidence to prove it?
Have I done anything that proves this statement wrong?
E.g. What are my achievements? What have I overcome? What have I managed well? (these are all the things you have forgotten while you are lying to yourself – you are doing amazing things everyday, you’ve just got to recognise them)
Positive mantras to contradict the lies:
I’m strong, I’m independent, I’m worthy.
I value myself.
I am worthy of good things.
I recognise the amazing things I am capable of each day.