No one deserves to be bullied, and it’s time to ensure every child knows how to be respectful to themselves and others. Have better expectations of themselves, with less comparisons to other people.
Both the bully and the bullied are candidates for receiving help. Its easy to condemn bullies, but its the actions we take to address this that makes the difference. The bully and the bully have a lot of things in common – these can be self esteem issues, lack of confidence, difficult life experiences. The main difference is that the Bully acts out, and the bullies accept that kind of behaviour. They may be experiencing feelings of anger, resentment, envy, or uncertainty.
If your child is the bully, you may be feeling embarrassed, judged by other parents, and ostracised from peer groups and friends may feel awkward about discussing it. Your child is also going through some emotions too – they may be angry, disappointed, frustrated, resentful and unable to communicate that to others.
Coaching can help get to the root cause of the bullying behaviour, by investigating the thought patterns and emotional responses. It can help parents with the feeling of shame and guilt too.
I have worked with a number of clients where children are experiencing bullying. Bullying isn’t ok, but we need to take more time to understand why children bully. To support them to a point where they can understand – what they have been through, the impact it’s had on them, and what they can do to help themselves – gives them back the control they lost. Its extremely powerful.
I love the fact my kids don’t accept bullying as an acceptable form of behaviour and communication. Teach your kids that bullying lies with the bully itself, and help is available. Teach them how to be happy in their own skin.