One of the biggest issues that I see with children, and plays a part in anxiety and depression. When a child is bullied, and is told that its ‘banter’, harmless teasing and not serious enough to be taken further and it stopped, is so damaging to their mental health.
To see a child who is damaged, destroyed because of the actions of another is heartbreaking.
I have worked with a number of clients where children are experiencing bullying. Bullying isn’t ok, but we need to take more time to understand why children bully.
To support them to a point where they can understand – what they have been through, the impact it’s had on them, and what they can do to help themselves – gives them back the control they lost. Its extremely powerful.
If you have a child who is being bullied, or your child is the bully, please get in touch.
The Rise in Bullying
I believe bullying comes from seeing role models acting in aggressive manner – from tv and from everyday interactions they observe from adults, it makes that kind of behaviour acceptable
Teaching children that it’s unacceptable to treat someone with such disrespect is something lacking in our society.
We need to sit down and talk to children, face to face, about how we treat each other and how we treat ourselves. Whilst they sit behind screens – phones, tablets, computers, tvs – and they communicate that way – that interaction isn’t happening, and its something we need to address universally.
Both the bully and the bullied are candidates for receiving help. Its easy to condemn bullies, but its the actions we take to address this that makes the difference. They may be experiencing feelings of anger, resentment, envy, or uncertainty.
The Bully and the Bullied
The bully and the bully have a lot of things in common – these can be self esteem issues, lack of confidence, difficult life experiences. The main difference is that the Bully acts out, and the bullies accept that kind of behaviour.
If your child is the bully, you may be feeling embarrassed, judged by other parents, and ostracised from peer groups and friends may feel awkward about discussing it.
You child is also going through some emotions too – they may be angry, disappointed, frustrated, resentful and unable to communicate that to others.
Its easy to condemn bullies, but its the actions we take to address this that makes the difference. They may be experiencing feelings of anger, resentment, envy, or uncertainty.
Coaching can help get to the root cause of the bullying behaviour, by investigating the thought patterns and emotional responses. It can help parents with the feeling of shame and guilt too.